


Grasp

by Ficworm_11



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ficworm_11/pseuds/Ficworm_11
Summary: Something is wrong with Sam, he can't grasp what some words meant anymore, and that is just the beginning...
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34
Collections: Sam Winchester Prompt-a-thon





	Grasp

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [cowboyguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboyguy/pseuds/cowboyguy) in the [SamWinchester_Prompt_a_thon](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SamWinchester_Prompt_a_thon) collection. 



> The prompt: Sam sometimes forgets words.
> 
> • Supernatural and it's characters don't belong to me.  
> •Medical information and other scientific information are NOT accurate.

* * *

It all started when Dean found their kitchen short of many items, he needed to do some grocery shopping.  
  
He grabbed his keys, and took baby for a quick trip to the nearest grocery store.   
  
Okay maybe not really a quick trip, he could actually get what they needed in 20 minutes tops, but that somehow stretched to 45 minutes.  
  
He wasn't stalking the brunette wearing hot shorts , not at all, he just suddenly remembered that he too needed to get mayonnaise, they really didn't have any..(because neither he nor Sam likes it)  
And just like that many other items that weren't on his mental list made their way to his cart.  
  
The young lady was either ignoring him or was just too naïve to notice him.  
  
Anyways he couldn't grab her attention and decided to leave, but then she suddenly looked at him in the eye with a seductive smile and winked.  
  
Then a ladybug appeared out of nowhere.  
  
A ladybug of all things!  
  
Stupid insect had to fly right into his eye and it had to happen infront of the brunette chick right after she had winked at him.. freaking insects!  
  
Needless to say Dean didn't stand a chance after the incident to get her number.   
  
By the time he finally returned to the bunker he, he had already developed one puffy, blood-red teary left eye.  
  
When Sam finally looked up from the tome he was entertaining his nerdy brain with, his eyes lit up with an amused glint and the corners of his lips turned upwards in a failed attempt not to burst out laughing, his lips parted ready to voice whatever smartass comment he was about to say but they were pursed close again in a barely concealed smile when Dean stopped him.  
  
"You better keep your mouth shut Sammy. Oh and from now on you are doing the groceries" he said in tone harsh enough to convey his irritability but not so harsh that Sam misses the lightness of the situation .  
  
"someone woke up on the wrong side of the pillow "   
  
"I said shut your hole" his tone slightly harsher but still not too harsh.  
  
"Okay seriously what had happened? You stared at hot chick for far too long that your eye couldn't take it anymore?" while Sam's voice was all serious, his lips were still slightly curved upwards but he quickly controlled his face at Dean's scowl.  
  
Thinking about it, Dean realised that... okay... he was staring at the chick when the insect flew into his eye... but it was still the bug's fault... aren't those things supposed to have six eyes or something?  
  
"A freaking ladybug wasn't looking where it way going and flew right into my eye" he said, knowing that yeah that was better than telling Sam that he was staring at a chick, the whole ladybug thing was still gonna give Sam a reason to mock the hell out of him for a few days at best.  
  
Sam's face wrinkled in confusion instead of lighting up at the golden opportunity to be a more-than-usual pain in his ass.  
  
"A what?" Sam's voice wasn't the mocking tone tinged with laughter as he predicted, it was genuinely confused.  
  
"A ladybug"  
  
Sam's brows frowned even more and shook his head slightly as if he didn't know what Dean was talking about.  
  
"A ladybug Sam the small red beatle with black dots? Rings any bells?"   
  
"Oh ... that"  
  
Dean grinned, his healthy right eye sparkling with mischief, while Sam's face was set to a frown.  
  
"What geek boy? Don't tell me you don't know what a ladybug is"   
  
Sam's bitch face confirmed it.  
  
"Ha.. Sam Winchester, hunting extraordinaire, can keep exorcisms written in a dead language by heart , but doesn't know what a ladybug is.. man this is unbelievable"   
  
Sam's bitchface-pro was enough to make him chuckle, tears making there way out of his eyes, the salty tears irritated his left eye even more and it started to sting more.  
  
"Hey, Dean, why did you get mayonnaise?"

* * *

One week later..  
  
They were talking to a victim .. of a poltergeist , Dean thinks ..  
  
“it happened so suddenly, you may not believe me, but every pot and pan in the kitchen started moving on it’s own, then knives started flying, one of them nicked my arm, and then my rolling pin hit me on the temple, that's the last thing I remember before passing out, the cops said that it was a burglary and that I’m imagining things because of my head injury, but I know that what I so was real, and nothing is missing from the house, that doesn't sound like burglary, right? “   
  
He looked at Sam not knowing what to say, Sammy was usually the better one at talking, but Sam was in deep thought not paying attention.  
  
He doesn't remember what had been said after that, they quickly finished questioning and left.  
  
“What happened back there , you were scaring the lady with that scowl “  
  
“What are you talking about? Dean“   
  
“I don't know, you tell me, you got lost in some thought when Julie was narrating what happened “   
  
“I don't know what you're talking about... “   
  
“Huh“   
  
He shrugged, maybe it was nothing .  
  
But he changed his mind later that night after the hunt when he saw Sam's phone screen reflected on impala's window.   
  
Sam typed rolling pin in the search engine.  
  
A chill ran down his spine and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were in Minnesota.  
  


* * *

Six days later... they were at a diner in another no-name town in Iowa for a monster that was targeting seemingly random victims, different ages, races, genders and statuses, they spent the last 2 days trying to figure out a connection but with no luck.  
  
Sam was talking about the last victim then stopped mid-sentence and his hands started hovering on the keyboard while his eyes were scanning the screen with concentration.  
  
Dean smiled, looks like geek boy figured something out .  
  
“All victims were killed wearing shirts of the same brand“   
  
“Which brand?“   
  
“I don't know , but their logo is a... oh... that's... a.... uh...okay... you know the thing used to prevent boats from drifting...um...it's a cross with a small circle on it's top and two curved arrows sticking from it's end. “ Sam was explaining using his hands too but that just didn't make sense to Dean.  
  
“it ...it ....sounds weird but I know this thing but I just don't know it's name, but I know what it is, I just... don't remember the name “ Sam while rubbing his temple as if the motion will help him remember.  
  
Dean turned the laptop so that it was facing him and had one look at the screen infront of him then then looked at Sam who was resting his head on his palms his face out of Dean's view.  
  
“Sam this is an anchor “   
  
As soon as he had said ‘ anchor ‘ Sam snapped .  
  
“Anchor , Damnit , why would I forget that?”   
  
"You must have worked that freaky head of yours so much , it's nothing that a solid seven hours of actual sleep won't fix" he said in light tone.  
  
But Sam looked sceptic.  
  
Maybe something is wrong , Dean thought but he kept his thoughts to himself.

* * *

  
For the whole next week nothing happened, or at least nothing that made his big brother radar go off.  
  
But then one day Sam confused the color 'beige' for 'violet' .. Dean of course found that funny, because, violet? really Samantha, but he was really starting to worry.  
  
The next day Sam forgot what a shoelace was called and that was when both of them were conviced that something was wrong.  
  
"Maybe it's a witch, Dean "   
  
"It has to be a witch but we haven't encountered one lately"  
  
"Not that we know of, maybe it happened when weren't paying attention?"  
  
So for the next few days, they revised their last few cases, looked for suspects, they even looked for a hex bag that might be causing this even though it was highly unlikely, but came up with nothing.  
  
It wasn't a spell, it wasn't a curse... it wasn't anything of that sort.  
  
Maybe this isn't our type of thing, he thought and looked at his little brother's sleeping form in the passenger seat, they were returning from Iowa for a second time after they found no witches there.

* * *

Dean suggested seeing a specialist but Sam refused.  
  
"Dean, this isn't medical, I have no symptoms of anything medically related, I have no headaches, I don't have problems with my vision, and I don't have trouble with my balance, it's nothing more than normal forgetfulness" Sam tried to reason with him.  
  
But to his ears, Sam sounded like he was trying to assure himself not Dean.  
  
Sam reasoning was weak, he probably knew that, but Sam was in denial, and Dean didn't want to push.   
  
But he was able to convince Sam to see someone three days later when Sam forgot what their mother's name was.  
  
Anomic aphasia, that's what the doctor thought it was, and that was the best case scenario, but the doctor stated that these could be early signs of alzheimer's disease and other diseases which Dean refused to even hear about.  
  
  
But whatever it was, it's cause was unknown, their family ( their father ) had no history of alzheimer's, and it usually develops at older age, aphasia usually occurs due a stroke, but Sam's scans indicated his didn't have one.  
  
But Sam had his fair share of head injuries, so... maybe? .. The doctor suggested speech therapy which Sam refused because ' it's not that bad ', the doctor said that sometimes aphasia gets better on it's own..  
  
But in his little brother's case it didn't.  
  
"This isn't aphasia, not normal aphasia at least" Sam told him as soon as they left the doctor's office.   
  
Dean didn't have anything to say.

* * *

  
Castiel graced them with his appearance that night after the doctor's visit.  
  
Cas couldn't find anything supernaturally wrong with Sam.  
  
But Cas had a theory that Dean refused to believe.  
  
"Human brains have capacities, nobody knows how much can be stored on your brain, but I think neurologists estimated 300 years or so, but nobody actually knows " Cas said in that deep voice devoid of any emotion.  
  
" My theory that Sam probably reached that capacity and his mind is starting to get rid of somethings to be able to free up some space" even after all these years Cass still talks like a machine, not feeling the emotional impact of what he was saying.  
  
That's can't be true, Dean thought, Sam's not even 40 for God's sake!   
  
The angel probably heard his thought.  
  
"Sam's soul, and mind are over 200 years old " he states.  
  
And it was the first time it was mentioned loudly that Sam, his little brother, was actually older than him..  
  
He always knew that with the 18 months Sam spent in Lucifer's Cage, Sam lived more than twice as long as he did.  
  
"But he still didn't reach 300 " Dean argues, for a lost cause he knew, but he was in denial.  
  
"It either means that Sam Spent more time than we thought in the cage..."   
  
Sam flinched at the mention of the cage, it's almost invisible, but Dean noticed it anyway.  
  
"Or that the estimated capacity is wrong " Cass finished his theory and looked at Sam.  
  
Feeling all eyes on him demanding answers for the unspoken question, Sam shrank into himself.   
  
Sam was bowing his head when he finally spoke.  
  
" I don't know how long I stayed there, I lost count" Sam's voice was low but steady then he looked up at them and sighed.  
  
"And that's just another theory, it really doesn't matter. It's not like it's hurting us anyway" then Sam excused himself to his room.  
  
Cas too left.  
  
And Dean remained alone in the map room.  
  


* * *

  
Somehow by the next morning the bunker's kitchen was short of two bottles of whisky...  
  


* * *

They never tried to figure out the cause of this 'forgetfulness' again.  
  
  
Sam kept forgetting things and names, he kept confusing words with other words, but just as Sam said it was harmless.  
  
Dean didn't get how this 'thing' worked, Sam forgot random unrelated things.  
  
Maybe Sam's mind was getting rid of least useful words or things it knew, or maybe it got rid of things learnt a very long time (over 200 year) ago... maybe it did both, or maybe Sam's brain was just working randomly, highly unlikely? Yes, but who knows? Certainly not Dean.  
  
  
Sometimes it was hilarious but Dean refused to make fun of it, not until Sam himself started joking about it.  
  
His way of telling Dean it was okay.  
  
So it became a source of amusement for them... but still, Dean was always careful not to let his jokes go too far..  
  
  
Until one day it wasn't funny anymore...The day Sam forgot the word 'Happy'.  
  
It hurt Dean probably more than it hurt Sam , or at least that was how Dean felt.

* * *

It developed to more than just words, events too started to get forgotten, skills too.  
  
Sam forgot on what year he was born.  
  
And he had to relearn how to hold a pen properly.  
  
And although Sam hadn't told Dean yet, Dean realised that Sam sometimes couldn't read words correctly, he got the letters mixed up... fortunately that didn't happen a lot.

* * *

  
"Dean... Dean ! " Sam yelled and ran into his room one day panicked..  
  
"Dean I forgot!"   
  
"What did you forget Sammy?" he said his voice thick from sleep.  
  
"How do I know you, Dean ,I don't remember who you are to me!"   
  
Dean was speechless.  
  
"Are you a good friend of mine? Are you my brother? Are you my Roommate? I just don't know! I know that your name is Dean, I know that I trust you, I know that I .. that we hunt together, but I don't know who are you" Sam's voice was Shaky just like his posture.  
  
His eyes were wide and shining with tears.  
  
Dean got out of bed and approached him but Sam screamed.  
  
"NO, stay away from me. Don't touch me , please, I don't know who you are" Sam was now scared, scared of him.  
  
"Sammy I am your brother, Dean"   
  
"No, I don't know any Dean, I don't know you, I just don't know!"   
  
"Huh?! "   
  
He opens his eyes to find himself still in bed.  
  
Stupid dreams, he murmurs.  
  
He splashed cold water on his face then got out of his room, on his way to the kitchen he found Sam asleep in the map room.  
  
Around Sam were several scattered notes, what was written on them astonished Dean;  
  
A B C G F D E  
  
A B C D F E G I H J   
  
A B C D E F G H J I   
  
A B C D F E G H   
  
A B C D E F G H I J K M N L   
  
A C B   
  
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P   
  
Q S T R   
  
Q T R S U V   
  
Q R S U T V X   
  
Rows after rows of several tries to write the alphabet in the correct order.  
  
Dean wanted to cry then and there.  
  
But his eyes caught one note close his brother's right hand.  
  
It must be the one Sam was doing before he fell asleep, he thought.  
  
He carefully grabbed it and looked at its contents.   
  
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z   
  
it was repeated many times on the sheet, Sam's handwriting was getting more unintelligible as he moved his eyes down, Sam was working so hard on this.  
  
  
A strange feeling found it's way to Dean's chest, a mixture of pride, sympathy, happiness and sadness.  
  
He put the note again where it belongs and left to the kitchen...  
  
Only to find that he had to do the groceries... again.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all , thank you so much for reading ♡
> 
> Sorry the ending wasn't great, okay maybe it was plain bad, but I didn't know how to end it -sobs-
> 
> I want to clarify that English isn't my native language , so sorry for any mistakes, please don't feel hesitant to point out any mistakes or give me any tips, I want to do my best to improve my writing.
> 
> Oh and also, I am new to supernatural, most of what I know about it is from the stories I have read, and the very few episodes I've watched, so please forgive any mistakes.
> 
> I'm so excited about this story as this is my first time writing anything other than school essays.
> 
> And finally, Ladybugs have only two eyes, not six.


End file.
